Having set up this blog this very afternoon I knew it would just be a matter of time (Ie School hometime) before I was given some writing fodder as it were …. and my twinnagers certainly didn’t disappoint !!!
I’ll set the scene ….. A short walk down the jitty from school to home … in case you’re wondering a jitty is a ..ginnel .. an alley … a fenced walkway ..sometimes open, mostly overgrown, dark , slightly scary and covered in dog muck & broken beer bottles .. although I did note a large purple vodka based drink bottle today .. looks as though the girls are claiming this particular jitty as theirs … Classy area we live in !!! Anyhow , I digress …. I do that … alot !!! So we’ve survived the guantlet that is the jitty .. crossed the road and made it home ! Hurrah !!! Coats are stripped off , bags and lunch bags strewn across the cluttered hallway .. whereupon the eagle eyed twinnagers do espy a frog shaped chocolate bar EACH on the table ….Whoopee … Grandad’s been and left an afterschool treat … But OH NO !! That’s not good enough .. Little ol’ Frankie Pants has been dreaming of a packet of chewits all day (he informed me of this fact) but having seen the froggy choc , knowing he can’t have both, he is in a very tough situation .. between a rock and a hard place one might summise ……What should he do ? Well what would any sane 4 year old do in this situation …… ???
HE THREW THE MOTHER OF ALL TANTRUMS …. I mean the absolute Mother of all tantrums .. his face went bright red , he was screaming incoherrently . feet stamping .. and then to add to this performance .. he plucked his discarded coat off the floor and started whipping it around his head … Lord above !!! I was actually impressing myself with the calmness I was exuding …. until it happened ….. *WHIP* *SCREAM* ” AAaaaaaaargh” !! The bleeder had caught his twin brother with the zip .. blood splattered across poor old Teddy’s face .. he was screaming like his life depended on it as he clutched his eye !!! I have never shot out of my chair so fast .. One twin scooped up nestled in my neck … one twin defly unhanded of the weapon of choice .. and one Mummy trying to work out if it was the eye , the ear or the head ……Blood everywhere .. panic ..moi ? Never … I’m a mother of twins .. it would have to be a pretty hefty injury to panic me ( Like the time I dropped them both down the stairs and thought I’d killed Frank … but thats another story ….) !
Turns out ..it was a little, but painful (I’m constantly being reminded) cut to the head … a very upset little Teddy and a Frank who after 5 mins in his bedroom for contemplation had a little cry , apologised to Teddy and they both had a big old cry together ..each feeling the others pain !!!! Aaaah …..I explained the dangers of his actions and he was very …. nonplussed to be fair …. !! You’ll soon come to learn my little lambkins characters and it’s fair to say .. Frank had apologised .. as far as he was concerned …It had been done and was gone .. time to start again ……
A fact bought to fruition when he promptly bashed Teddy over the head with the wii remote …..
Aaaaaaaah happy families !! Welcome to The Englands …….
(PS I’m not ignoring Billy but as he is at a senior school a bus ride away .. he entered the feral twins lair about 15 minutes after all this had happened ……. !! Charmed that lad!!)